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Joke of the Day

"The other day I held the door for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester."

"Went to a shrink today. She said I have a split personality. Charged me 84.00. I paid her 42.00 and told her to get the rest from the other b*tch!"

"People ask where I see myself in 5 years But I always tell them that I don't have 2020 vision"

"What's innuendo? It's Italian for ""suppository""."

"If I ever adopted a child, I think it'd be black. I really don't want to have to pay for college."

"All that money and sleep was super annoying anyway. -lies parents tell themselves"

"Why couldn't the skeleton hurt itself? Because it didn't have the nerves."

"After my tweet conversation with you, I delete everything I wrote so you look like a crazy stalker."

"My girlfriend is a porn star! She's gonna be pissed when she finds out. EDIT: thanks for front page!"

"My friend might be hung tomorrow... The suspense is killing him."