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Joke of the Day

"OC: What does Babe Ruth and roughly 100,000 antelopes have in common? They're both ballpark figures."

"*exercises sarcastically*"

"What's black, white, and red all over? A newspaper."

"What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses? Nothing he didn't recognize them!"

"COP: u were swerving a lot so i have to conduct a sobriety test ME: ok COP: lets get taco bell ME: no COP: text ur ex ME: no COP: ok ur good"

"Reasons I Don't Smoke Pot"

"What do you get if you genetically crossed a rabbit and an oyster? A Nobel Prize"

"Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for ""hardcore poem""?"

"I am genderfluid I sexually identify as mayonnaise. If you can't stand it than you neeed to ketchup."

"Why do gay men have great skin? Because they respect and take care of their bodies, you homophobic piece of shit."