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Joke of the Day
"Reasons I Don't Smoke Pot"
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"*turns on alarm* Alarm: I have a headache"
"I reported my own accident on Waze Hence, the accident."
"I didn't realize how parenting had changed me until I was walking by my 7yo with an ice cream sandwich down my pants so he wouldn't see it"
"No matter what meal it is, always say you had ""brunch"" so people know how much better than them you are."
"My wife had me take out more life insurance and now there's no grip left on the bath mat. Weird."
"Did I ever tell you about the guy who had a visectamy? He said it didn't work, all it did was change the color of his kids."
"Reporter: Sir, how do view lesbian Relationships.?.. Me: Full HD."
"When I was younger I wanted to rule the world. Now I just want to spell words close enough that autocorrect can figure out what I'm saying"
"Did you hear about the tick who followed U2 on tour? They say he was living life on The Edge."