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Joke of the Day

"I am genderfluid I sexually identify as mayonnaise. If you can't stand it than you neeed to ketchup."

"Women usually love when I compliment them on their youthful appearance. But this lady is obviously upset over comments about her pimples."

"Do you have any naked pictures of your girlfriend on your phone??? No?? Want me to send some to you?"

"How do women defy the laws of physics? The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!"

"After growing a beard for two months I decided to shave it off. I must be a man now, because boy did that put hair on my chest!"

"Life Tip: Do not treat your woman like an object. It hates that."

"Two quantum mechanics professors had sex They must have had physical chemistry."

"""Wow, it's pouring out there."" ""Just let a smile be your umbrella!"" ""That's not how rain works, Karen."""

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean Beef What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mother"

"I told Cheryl Cole I was taking her to Scandinavia for a weeks holiday. ""Norway?"" ""No, I'm serious."""