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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park ? They woke him up."

"Why did the melons get married in a church? Because they cantaloupe."

"I sometimes watch birds and wonder ""If I could fly who would I shit on?"""

"If you can't love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot."

"I was just accosted by a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling ""why you ain't got no babies?""I bet my father in law paid her"

"What did the ocean ask the scooba diver? Water you doing here?"

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef."

"[skywriting] Karen, do you have the checkbook? The skywriting guy won't let me out of the plane until he gets his deposit."

"Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?"

"What do you call a woman with boobs on her back? I don't know, but she would sure be fun to dance with."