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Joke of the Day

"wife *resting after surgery* me wife me [holding flowers and a Transformers birthday balloon] They didn't have any that said ""Get Well Soon"""

"My ass is a woman tonight It won't shut the fuck up."

"What's the difference between a stoner and a Jew? A stoner gets baked more than once"

"What were the photocopier's last words? Good night, sweet prints..."

"How do you kill a fox? Cut off one leg and drag it across Canada."

"Son: "" Mom, am I ... ugly? "" Mother: "" I told you not to call me Mom in public, now stay away further. """

"These days its all about finding the woman you want to divorce after your kids go to college."

"Why did Michael Jackson always lose in a race? Because he always came in a lil behind."

"adam sandler's wife is madam sandler"

"How is a woman like a bank. You lose interest once you withdraw. Playboy has awesome jokes."