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Joke of the Day

"Please stop putting flyers on my windshield in parking lots. I have no desire to see your new band called ""Parking Violation""."

"I was at a posh resturaunt last night but the pianist was awful He just kept playing bottom C over and over. Really lowered the tone."

"Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer? He got a little behind in his deliveries."

"What did the police say to the guy hiding in the bathroom? Come out with your pants up!"

"Riddle, you see a guy You see a guy on the street talking to himself. What's his nationality? He's a Babylonian."

"I love giving a little kid the tongue, and then watching him run to his mother holding the severed tongue I just gave him."

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks. You can't teach a cat anything, ever."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never had a lentil on my face before!"

"That artsy picture you took of your Jack Daniels really spoke to me. It said ""This persons an alcoholic but still takes decent pictures."""

"Interview Boss: Greatest weakness Me: Sometimes I answer questions with 90s rap lyrics B: Is that here on your resume M: Whoomp, there it is"