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Joke of the Day
"So I got brainfreeze today.. I was just trying out the cryogenic storage box 2000"
Next Joke
"My teacher's nickname in school is Flush. He always has the same suit."
"I don't want to spoil my autobiography for you. But at the end, you find out that you've just wasted 4.99."
"During love scenes in a Wes Anderson movie, the sound effects guy rubs a baguette against corduroy."
"Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!"
"How much energy does hova's DeLorean require? 1.21 jigga watts"
"People who say I'm hard to shop for obviously didn't see how excited I just got finding an almond on the couch."
"When it comes to stealing chocolate bars... I have a couple twix up my sleeve"
"If I ever get kidnapped, my plan is to just talk non-stop about Lost until they see that I'm very annoying, and they return me to safety."
"Four years ago, I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me! She said ""no"" both times."