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Joke of the Day

"A 1-2-3 punch of cow jokes **What do you call a cow with 2 legs?** *Lean beef.* **What do you call a cow with no legs?** *Ground beef.* **What do you call a masturbating cow?** *Beef strokinoff.*"

"My Penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records Then the librarian told me to take it out"

"What's the best part about fucking twentythree year olds? There's twenty of them."

"Wife: Why the hell did you buy a buffalo? Me: I'd rather have a buffalo and not need it than need a buffalo and not have it."

"Che: ""Why do you want to participate in this guerrilla war?"" Me: [picturing myself leading an army of gorillas into battle] ""Independence."""

"Blood is Thicker than water, but maple syrup is Thicker than blood. Therefore, pancakes are more important than family."

"Thought my friend was an alcoholic because he wouldn't shut up about the bar turns out he was studying to be a lawyer"

"Throwing a grenade at someone who's taking a selfie is photobombing, right?"

"The last time I was involved in sexual intercourse was when I was a sperm."

"*gets caught kissing an optical illusion* it's not what it looks like!"