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Joke of the Day

"During love scenes in a Wes Anderson movie, the sound effects guy rubs a baguette against corduroy."

"I point my gun at the bank teller and order him to fill my bag with cash but he struggles because the bag is already full of tacos."

"Vending machines are so homophobic Like, I'm sorry my dollar bill wasn't straight enough for you."

"Spider-Man reboots should start with the previous actor biting the new one as the origin story."

"Tomi Lahren is pretty confident for a person whose first and last names are both misspelled"

"I always put pennies in that thing at the convenience store so I can put ""benefactor"" on my resume."

"what did the zombie say when he prank-called someone? ""deez gutz"""

"wut equasion do u use when u wanna kno tha prbility that u & ur girl are gonna b 2gether 4ever? bae's theorem"

"I'm more of a leader than a follower, unless you're wearing yoga pants."

"How do you turn your dishwasher into a snow plow? Give her a shovel"