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Joke of the Day
"What is the Easter Bunny's favourite state capital? Albunny New York!"
Next Joke
"""sure was nice of me to give that homeless guy $5 this morning"" [sees Steve Bannon on TV holding a Starbucks] ""son of a..."""
"Why did Hitler delay the invasion of Britain? The weather called for *Heil*"
"Advertisers: you can stop using ""it will change your life"" as a selling point. Cocaine, unemployment, and AIDS will also change your life."
"How do you overcome tyrannical pancakes? U syrup 'em"
"If I ever get arrested, my one phone call will be to the police station to do a bomb scare. I'm not spending the night there."
"Marriage means commitment. So does insanity. Coincidence?"
"""Squad goals,"" I said, aloud, to nobody, as two rats helped each other move an entire bagel into a hole in the subway tracks"
"Many people are surprised by the engagement of Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian, but not me. If I founded reddit I'd be searching for better servers too."
"Italians and Spaniards are so used to Catholic child abuse... ... That they call the Pope daddy"