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Joke of the Day

"A leper gave me the finger the other day I was upset, but I still did the right thing and gave it back"

"A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub... She says, ""Show me it's true what they say about black men."" ;) So he stabs her & steals her purse."

"What is a fatass' favorite kind of computer a big mac"

"He who understands women, dies under mysterious circumstances..."

"Why are girls so good at punctuation? Because they remember to never skip a period!"

"How do you turn a cow into a steak? You mootilate it."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. It's their job to help people find their way in dark places! (MASH s1 ep7)"

"I think it's weird that characters in comic strips always recite the alphabet to fall asleep... ...But it's even weirder that they always time it exactly fucking perfect."

"Talk to the hand. The hand is lonely and needs some company. What are you up to? How's work? You look great. You want some tea?"

"I'm thinking about selling my Theremin. I haven't touched it in years."