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Joke of the Day

"I think it's weird that characters in comic strips always recite the alphabet to fall asleep... ...But it's even weirder that they always time it exactly fucking perfect."

Next Joke
 
"[Serious] Have any animals besides humans been shown to exhibit humor in their social interactions? Looking for anyone with specific knowledge of this. Any zoolologists out there?"
"In my will I am leaving everything to the imagination."
"I don't believe in Bigfoot; because he never believed in me. I'd scan the crowd at my ballet recitals, and always see that one empty seat."
"How do you call a beautiful feminist? An oxymoron"
"I accidentally got my mom prego... :( She wanted Ragu."
"Told my girlfriend she should scream out 'my god you're huge'!! at her gynaecologist appointment to freak out the others in the waiting room"
"No pants were worn during the making of this tweet."
"What did one stoplight say to the other stoplight? Don't look! I'm changing!"
"What do you call a guy who likes Adobe and little boys? a PDFile"