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Joke of the Day

"Why did the raisin take the prune to the new year's ball? Because he couldn't find a date!"

"I'm trying to read on the train but it's hard because people keep applauding & screaming ""You are the train's smartest boy!"" at me"

"Why do people in wheelchairs wear shoes? Do they think they're gonna magically start walking?"

"why was the broom late for work? he overswept!"

"""Wanna hear a joke?"" ""Alright then."" ""What's the difference between a toilet and a fridge?"" ""I don't know,"" ""You're disgusting."""

"Wife: You should cut the grass. Me: Yes, dear. W: And, you really need to trim that bush. M: *mumbles* Yeah, you too. W: What? M: Yes, dear."

"Remember, when you're driving in the snow, it's important to speed up and go as fast as you can so you don't get stuck."

"You know, if I had a dollar for every time someone under 30 stole a joke from my generation... Then I would be able to afford to fund the pension that the government stole from me."

"What is the hamburgers' most familiar song? 'Home on the Range'!"

"Wanna hear a joke? My bank account... :("