188396

Joke of the Day

"The most stable relationship I've had is with a guy at the gym who has no idea we've been dating for the past year."

"What did the tv say to the remote control? ""you turn me on"""

"[morning] her: did you dream about me? me: that depends...are you a member of the Backstreet Boys? her: umm no me: then no"

"What's the most useful type of hat? A handy-cap"

"A co-worker just used the word ""elderly"" to describe someone my age and that's why I had to kill her."

"Possible Fact: If you suffer with freezing cold hands, you are contractually obliged to test their temperature by putting them on people."

"I guess you could say Mendeleev's Birthday comes around periodically."

"Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!"

"You know what they say about poorly produced pornography... You never see it coming."

"Did you hear the one about the shipwreck where only the limbless mute survived?"