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Joke of the Day

"You know, if I had a dollar for every time someone under 30 stole a joke from my generation... Then I would be able to afford to fund the pension that the government stole from me."

Next Joke
 
"Why did the smoothie get assassinated? He got mixed up with a few bad apples."
"What's a wombat for? For playing wom"
"Sorry I threw rice at the coffin. I don't get invited to much."
"In bed I'm like Beethoven It's all over in three movements."
"When someone shows you a picture of their kid the one thing they don't wanna hear is... ""Oh yeah I have some photos of your kid too"""
"Me: You won't believe the dream I had last night! I slapped you in the face with a hot pizza. Him: M: *looks down* *sees pepperoni all over*"
"Are your parents bakers? Cause youre inbread."
"What kind of footwear do Whitewalkers use? The Hodor-eliminating kind."
"The first rule of Chinese Whispers Club is... ...don't talk about Tiny Whiskers Grub"