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Joke of the Day

"Math is so communist... ...There's class struggle for Marx"

"Why did God create men ? Because dildos can't take out the trash."

"So pinocchio was going down on a girl... The girl then says YEAH! Eat that pussy pinocchio get it!"

"ME: So you indicate action using airstrikes? HER: What? No, I said asterisks. ME: Ha, of course. [to walkie-talkie] Disengage. DISENGAGE!"

"One-One was a race horse, Two-Two was one too One-One won one race and Two-Two's leg was broken and he had to get euthanized."

"Wow some neighbors really freak out when they wake up on a Sunday morning and find me making myself some pancakes in their kitchen"

"What did the cannibal say to his victim before they went for a long walk? You're gonna be pooped after this."

"What's the current number one song in Russia? Crimea river"

"When I come back in the next life, I would like to come back as a bathroom mirror in a house full of hot women."

"Patient: Doctor you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did didn't I you stupid fool!!"