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Joke of the Day

"One-One was a race horse, Two-Two was one too One-One won one race and Two-Two's leg was broken and he had to get euthanized."

"What do Amy Winehouse and Jeremy Clarkson have in common? They were both on top gear."

"Your swag is gonna look amazing on that Burger King application."

"How much do used batteries cost? Nothing, they are free of charge."

"On one hand, this sub has gotten a little stale. On the other hand... ... you have different fingers."

"Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up."

"Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last book you read."

"Went on blind date, woke up in bathtub with kidney gone. 6 out of 10, would date again."

"Whats the worst thing about a Thai Masseuse Bride? They walk all over you."

"What do you call a Cuban Prime Minister with a lot of attitude? Fidel Sass-tro"