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Joke of the Day
"Why did God create men ? Because dildos can't take out the trash."
Next Joke
"Whats the most addictive drug you can formulate out of a piece of the human body? Hairoin"
"What did the banana say to the vibrator? ""What are you shakin' for? Shes gonna eat me."""
"Me: *slowly unzips footed jammies* Him: Heyyy...you uh...wanna fool around? Me: What? No, I just lost an M&M in my onesie"
"I have a time phobia. *looks at watch, panics *looks at clock, panics *looks at thyme ""This I can handle."""
"What's the difference between E.T. and a Mexican? E.T. learned English and went home."
"Two fish are swimming when they run into a wall. One of the fish turns to the other and says ""damn."""
"(Grabs store intercom) Would whoever dropped the list with ""pizza"" and ""wine"" on it in the cart come to the front? We need to be friends."
"5 MINUTES & NO LIKES'? Well then... *deletes status*"
"Have you ever had sex on a campground? It's fucking in tents."