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Joke of the Day

"What did the cannibal say to his victim before they went for a long walk? You're gonna be pooped after this."

"If you could choose between world peace and $100,000,000, what color would you choose for your Ferrari?"

"They all laughed when I told them I'm going to be a comedian... well...they are not laughing anymore!"

"Hey lady, did you know I'm a Pokemon? Because I Pikachu while you sleep."

"Before company arrives we like to clean our house so there's no evidence that we live like circus monkeys the other 364 days of the year!"

"Question ? Do old lesbians try to look like Rod Stewart or does Rod Stewart try to look like an old lesbian?"

"[campfire] And that's when he realized... HE FORGOT TO ENABLE WIFI AND WATCHED 5 SEASONS USING HIS DATA PLAN [everyone screams in terror]"

"Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore. It's too crowded."

"What is the big hairy thing between Napoleon's legs? His horse Marengo"

"I used to be a fan of reading Tolkien But then I kicked the hobbit"