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Joke of the Day

"Patient: Doctor you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did didn't I you stupid fool!!"

"The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it..."

"Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda-pressing"

"I'm a passive aggressive driver. I pass other drivers and then aggressively speed towards the next one."

"You can lead a horse to water... but jet fuel can't melt steel beams."

"Two cosplayers break up... When asked why, one said ""I don't know who he is anymore!"""

"Making $ is easy. Press shift+4."

"If you don't like your son, grab a football and tell him to go long. Never throw it. He's gone now."

"9/11 Who? Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? I thought you said you would never forget!"

"What's better than being up to your knees in beer? Being up to your nuts in cider."