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Joke of the Day
"I have never once hit a drink or treated one badly so don't tell me about alcohol abuse!"
Next Joke
"When Zelda watches porn... ...does she use adult Links?"
"When I have money, there's nothing to buy. When I don't have money, I want everything."
"What do you call a second hand gold necklace? Recyc-bling (I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)"
"how did the gamete get rich? because sex cells... Thank you thank you i'll be here all week."
"[inventor of the piano] Tables aren't noisy enough."
"Winters, when your handwriting turns out the same no matter which hand you use."
"What's the difference between a straight mustache and a gay mustache? The smell."
"""I made bank today."" - Inarticulate Construction Worker"
"A guy gets pulled over by a cop. Cop: Your eyes are bloodshot; have you been drinking? Guy: Your eyes are glazed; have you been eating donuts?"