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Joke of the Day

"A guy gets pulled over by a cop. Cop: Your eyes are bloodshot; have you been drinking? Guy: Your eyes are glazed; have you been eating donuts?"

"Give a cat a box and he'll be happy for a day Teach a cat to box and start wondering what you're doing with your life"

"911: what's your emerg- ME: I'VE BEEN SHOT 911: ...why would you interrupt me like that?"

"Wat did the mermaid wear to her math exam? An algae-bra."

"What do you call someone who sings about mints? A ""Minstrel""."

"She's so wrinkled, her mother was a Shar Pei."

"Why is the letter T like an island? Because its in the middle of water!!!"

"Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs? Because they're good at picking their drivers."

"What's a Jew's favorite brand of hotdog? Anne Frank's"

"Me: I crave your sweetness on my lips Her: Who are you talking to in there? M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody"