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Joke of the Day

"*accidentally summons malevolent demon at a seance* I WILL HAUNT YOUR HOME FOREVER! [4 days later] YOU KNOW, YOU COULD CLEAN UP OCCASIONALLY"

"While I was watching the prison wall, a little midget starting climbing over it and smirked at me And I thought to myself, ""That's a little condescending""."

"Reddit is like cancer it's much bigger than you thought."

"I watched ""The Edge of Tomorrow"" hundreds of times there seems to be an awful lot of alternative endings though."

"""OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!Damn these thin walls. Don't know if my neighbors are having sex, praying or having a coronary."

"I got arrested one night while camping... The policeman said I was loitering within tent."

"My iPhone just autocorrected the word nigga to NIGGA, like whoa iPhone. You can't just go around yelling the N word. Jesus."

"I always thought that Last of Us needed more animals Nevertheless that giraffe scene with Ellie, fantastic."

"Roses are red violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one does not."

"Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!"