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Joke of the Day

"Roses are red, their stems are green ... Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams."

"Mitt Romney Runs for president."

"Kevin Hart is performing in Baltimore tonight..... Should be a riot :p"

"Why do doctors slap babies bums when then are born? Because the balls fall off of the stupid ones."

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher handsomer and smarter than some really really big guy named Chuck."

"What did the politician with a cold talk about at his meeting? The important tissues. (I know it sucks, I just made it up)"

"I'm 82 and I have the body of a 25-year-old supermodel. But it takes up too much room in my freezer... any suggestions?"

"4 y/o: What's your job? Me: I stay at home, take care of you, clean, cook the food... 4: That sounds boring. Do you want me to fire you?"

"From my dad: What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette? Your camera."

"I went to a restaurant with my wife last night and ordered the Hippo soup. I'm still not sure what I'm going to order for myself."