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Joke of the Day

"What do punctuation marks win in competitions? Apos-trophies"

"HER: You promised me you were over your Bruce Willis obsession. ME: Sorry. Old habits die hard with a vengeance."

"If you encounter a bear in the wilderness, sing a Coldplay song. You'll die, but the bear will suffer too."

"Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!"

"How do you disappoint a Redditor? [deleted]"

"[making small talk at a business function] ""You're 35 aren't you?"" ""No, I'm 38"" ""Oh right"" [long silence] ""Did you used to be 35?"""

"I tried to go into a restaurant playing Pokemon go. I couldn't get in though. The servers were too busy."

"My hobbies include but are not limited to getting drunk and commenting ""LOL"" on relationship statuses on Facebook."

"What's the best way to knock out a dog? with a woofie."

"What are the people from the country Lesbia called? Lesbians"