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Joke of the Day

"If you encounter a bear in the wilderness, sing a Coldplay song. You'll die, but the bear will suffer too."

"Customer: ""Hi I'm supposed to pack [zip] my database and send it to you. What should I pack it in?"""

"Two men walk into a bar The third one ducks"

"""I'll have a rum and coke"" Is pepsi ok? ""Sure whatever"" *hands you a pepsi and coke*"

"Cleaning out my handbag. Wondering if nine pens are enough."

"Immediately after walking into a store with your spouse, stop, block the entrance, and discuss why you both came. It's all good. I'll wait."

"Women need security -when I'm around."

"Is molestation rape foreplay? Is it rude to molest someone and then not rape them? Woman: I didn't let him rape me because he did not molest me first. I'm not that type of girl."

"that I like being lazy more..."

"What happens when a man of jewish descent runs into a wall with an erection? He breaks his nose."