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Joke of the Day

"If a 4-year-old says, ""I'm scared there's a monster living under my bed"" Don't reply, ""Oh, that's where he's been hiding."" I know that now."

"Why was the scarecrow promoted? He was outstanding in his field."

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her pussy? Only one retarded thing came out of her pussy."

"What do you get when you cross my mom with my dad? I don't know, but my Dad said it was a mistake."

"Why are chemists such whores? They keep talking about their nitrates"

"What is the best way to hunt bear? With your clothes off"

"How to get a job on Game of Thrones: Q: Can you act? A: Sorta Q: Will you get naked? A: Yes HIRED!"

"What did Napoleon say on the rollercoaster? Ouiiiiiiii!"

"""I'm so stoked!"" -An excited fireplace"

"Did you hear about that new space mosque? It's Allah this world!"