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Joke of the Day

"Why was the scarecrow promoted? He was outstanding in his field."

"I accidentally spilled my bottle of rum on the floor. I was let down because I thought I'd be the one getting wasted."

"The hardest part of being a gentleman is going to all of these gentlemen's clubs."

"I exercise religiously I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don't think about it again for the rest of the week."

"Did you hear about the UCLA track star who won a gold medal? He was so proud of it that he had it bronzed."

"What do snakes take to combat their allergies? Anti-hissss-tamines!"

"How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. A left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear."

"After 9 months and 347 pics of you being pregnant you REALLY only need to post one pic of the baby as proof. We believe you."

"Why do Russians have so many bear fighting stories? Because their liquor is strong and their women are hairy."

"My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle."