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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her pussy? Only one retarded thing came out of her pussy."

"It's gonna be ok."

"What's the best hotel in the world? Auschwitz. 1.3 million stars."

"What did Shang Tsung say after conquering South Korea? ""Your Seoul is mine!"""

"Is siri better than you? that's a siri-ous question."

"Rock stars are always hitting the people they date.... Because they want everything to be a smashing success. After I wrote this, I'm reevaluating my life."

"I like my women like I like my whiskey. Aged five years and in a barrel."

"Where does a King keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"I'm eating for six, according to the serving size on every single package of everything ever."

"When the professor starts off the semester asking ""Why are you here?"" So I can get a job."