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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about that new space mosque? It's Allah this world!"

"""Mother I'd like to fuck"" She said ""Ok, let's break your arms and get started."""

"My parents always told me that I'd get nowhere sitting on my ass all day. little do they know, I just had the greatest shit yesterday."

"How can you tell when the stage is level? The drummer is drooling equally from both sides of his mouth."

"Why do cows never walk out of horror movies? They're able to stomach a lot."

"Hey super sassy black women. I see you. But most importantly, I hear you. And everyone else does too."

"Warning: 18+ [link!](http://imgur.com/dkKxyoa)"

"*pulls up to window* Me: *on phone* Ok, so you want a chocolate shake also? Ok, I'll get two then. *phone rings while its at my ear*"

"Why are socially-aware western tourists avoiding Nice, France for their late-summer getaways? All that Muslim hatred can really run you down."

"The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence."