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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear? Tony Romo tried committing suicide after yesterday's game... But the bullet was intercepted."

"If Jesus could see the way some Christians act today He'd be rolling in his grave"

"My wife said to me ""If you won the lottery, would you still love me?"" I answered ""Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you."""

"Girl, are you a useless, obscure and unimportant punctuation mark? Because I want to interro-bang you"

"If you were anti-pencil Would you be erasist?"

"Men are like plastic wrap. Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through."

"""Oh, you decided to close your bedroom door with me on the outside? Allow me to sing you the song of my people."" -my cat"

"How do you have a rave in Greece? Blu-Tac a euro to the ceiling"

"How did the little pig win at Monopoly? He built hotels on Pork Place."

"Ab Muscles: You're having ANOTHER cookie? Brain: Yep! Ab Muscles: You're just never planning on seeing us again? Brain: Nope!"