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Joke of the Day

"Girl, are you a useless, obscure and unimportant punctuation mark? Because I want to interro-bang you"

"What is the most common death among square dancers? Over Do-se-do."

"Did you hear about the weird music that plays at Mozarts grave.... Don't worry, He's decomposing."

"""How much for this toaster?"" ""An arm & a leg."" ""How about a leg & 2 fingers?"" ""A leg & 3 fingers."" ""Deal!"" - Cannibal Pawn Stars"

"So apparently Richard III will remain in that parking lot they found him in. Because nobody can afford to pay his ticket."

"What do you call an alcoholic dog ? A whino !"

"I like my women like I like my student debt Always there and constantly fucking me"

"'So Timmy, how did you fall into that well?' 'Oh. I never fell in, I was p- *sees Lassie do cut throat motion* -was jumping in.'"

"What did O say to Q? XYZ."

"I bet by the time you were done listening to The Fray's ""How to Save a Life,"" the person choking on their food would be dead already."