192112

Joke of the Day

"Men are like plastic wrap. Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through."

"How do you make a pheromone? Tell him, ""Let my people go."""

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It may take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by this chick."

"Reporter: so what is it like being in Maroon 5 when you're not Adam Levine, um Mr. Uh- *quickly googles for his name but google has no idea*"

"looks like our killer left his calling card. 5 cents/min to canada, 7c/min to puerto rico. he knows what he's doing."

"Why is it everything I love is either unhealthy, addicting or has multiple restraining orders against me?"

"Did you hear about the football offensive coordinator who was republican? He was a conservative playcaller."

"I simply haven't seen enough solid evidence that suggests not drinking is better than drinking."

"I wanted to post a joke about tofu but it's tasteless."

"I waited a long time for my testicles to descend When one finally did I had an inaugural ball"