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Joke of the Day

"What does a pirate call his idiot son? A retarrrrrd"

"The Muffin Joke Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said ""Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?"" The other turned and shouted ""Oh my god a talking muffin!"""

"I always sigh and say ""I love you,"" followed by a long silent pause just to see how bad telemarketers really want the sale."

"I was feeling down the other day, so I threw some bleach over my Muslim friend... I thought it'd lighten Mahmood."

"Dentist: ""You don't need to open your mouth any wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside."""

"Did you hear what happened when Oedipus got flu? He became one sick mother fucker."

"Oil is made from dinosaurs. Plastic is made from oil. Plastic dinosaurs are made from real dinosaurs."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to Hungary."

"My wife said she has had enough of me because I always get my directions mixed up... So I just packed my bags and right..."

"Guys who resent their friends for not sharing their hair products are gel less."