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Joke of the Day
"Guys who resent their friends for not sharing their hair products are gel less."
Next Joke
"My moral compass must run on solar power, because it never seems to work after dark."
"Reading while sunbaking Makes you well-read"
"What do programmers and taxi drivers have in common? They both need a *break* every once in a *while*. edit: this is a three-way pun btw - it works better out loud"
"What do we want? Time travel! When do we want it? Irrelevant!"
"""I'm dying call me an ambulance"" Best friend: ""Ok dying, you're an ambulance"""
"Girl, are you E=mc 2? Because I do not have the energy to figure out what is the matter with you."
"Back in my day, you didn't even know who was calling you when your phone rang. Shit was scary."
"I hope I can kill my feelings before my liver."
"What do eggs do for fun? They crack jokes."