75229

Joke of the Day

"My wife said she has had enough of me because I always get my directions mixed up... So I just packed my bags and right..."

"Have you heard about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally."

"I got arrested at the airport last week... Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call ""shotgun"" before boarding a plane."

"What do you do if can't change a lightbulb? Ya know what? Just screw it."

"i hate when people call their grandparents weird names instead of grandma and grandpa like babooshka or salami"

"I added Paul Walker on xbox the other day... Too bad he spends all his time on the dashboard. *Courtesy of my cousin*"

"Ever try spreading really cold butter on toast? I'm like the human version of that."

"What's in an Irish 7 course meal? A 6 pack and a potato."

"I just got an email that Netzero closed my account due to inactivity, I guess that must have taken 12 years to get here."

"I'd be more motivated to work out if the stationary bikes had a little basket to hold my snacks and beer."