180403
Joke of the Day
"Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to Hungary."
Next Joke
"What do Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music and Keith Richards have in common? They both made habits fashionable."
"Worst things the parents do on Home Alone: 3. Never punish Buzz 2. Forget one of their kids 1. Try to make everyone drink milk with pizza"
"What do you call a pan-sexual man named Nick who works at a CD store? Pan Nick at the Disc Co."
"Boss told me to glue 2 pieces of wood together Totally nailed it"
"Why do bald men cut holes in their pockets? So they can run their hands through their hair."
"What's the difference between everybody and bullets? Everybody misses Harambe."
"""This is gonna be so awful, and everyone's least favorite, yet .0001 of the population will keep it in demand."" - Inventor of licorice"
"Welcome to hipster fights. You can ironically hang your scarves over there. There's PBR and tacos in the food truck. Don't enjoy yourself."
"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How did you get their legs apart"