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Joke of the Day

"What US state has a lot of dirty laundry? Washington"

"Twitter is the only place where it's actually BORING to discover that you are being followed by hundreds of robots."

"Blue cheese dressing makes anything a salad. For example, this french fry salad I'm eating right now"

"Every time you do a shot of tequila, an angel hi-fives a fairy and they agree to meet later to kick you in the head while you're sleeping."

"A drunk is brought to court... The judge says ""you've been brought here for drinking"" to which the drunk replies ""when can we start!"""

"What do the English and Hitler have in common? They both hate the Polish."

"Calm down! I'm not officially late until I actually get there."

"A surface topologist sits in a coffee shop thinking deeply about his research... he takes a sip from his doughnut."

"Have you heard a dad joke about dad jokes? I've never meeted an person who had."

"What lies on its back 100 feet in the air? A centipede"