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Joke of the Day

"Hey girl is your dad a terrorist cause...oh your dad works for Al-Qaeda? No, wait this is a pickup line. I'm sorry please don't cry."

"What is the difference between Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler? Hitler had big hands"

"I was trying to recall what size shirt to get my friend the psychic, then I remembered.....medium, of course."

"Roses are dead, violets are dead, ... I'm a bad gardener"

"I ordered a Pizza the other day, When she read the order back to me she said, ""So, you have one thick sausage, anything else? I looked her dead in the eye and replied, ""Yes, I also ordered a pizza."""

"""What doesn't kill you makes you smaller!"" -ask Super Mario"

"10: Mom what's a metaphor? Me: My life is a train wreck. 10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?"

"""No no no!"" said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. ""I cannot see you today!"" ""That's fine"" said the salesman ""I'm selling spectacles."""

"Today I saw a girl wearing camouflage pants. They didn't show her ass very well."

"Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin. One prefers to use its head, while the other relies on tales"