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Joke of the Day

"the flight attendant came down the aisle holding out a bag of trash to me and i was like ""sure what the hell"" and grabbed a couple pieces"

"I used to be addicted to soap But it's okay now, I am clean."

"What was the ambulance saying when they were carrying Satoru Iwata? Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U"

"I got gas today for $1.09! Too bad it was from Taco Bell."

"Doctor: You need new glasses Patient: How do you know? I haven't told you whats wrong with me yet Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window!"

"This article says 80% of men feel confident being naked in front of a woman. Twitter says the rest prefer being naked in front of a donut."

"u cant teach an old fern new tricks. u cant teach any fern any tricks. basicaly a fern makes for a verey disobedient pet"

"A group of ventriloquists was murdered yesterday. Their screams were heard a mile away."

"A man walks up to the counter at the airport. ""Can I help you?"" asks the agent. ""I want a round trip ticket"" says the man. ""Where to?"" asks the agent. ""Right back to here."""

"Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won't send MY dog to obedience school"