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Joke of the Day

"A Newfie walks into a doctor's office... And says ""Doc b'y, I tinks I got dat H2N2 disease."" Doctor replied ""ummm...don't you mean H1N1?"" Newfie says ""No b'y, dis is twice as bad as dat!"""

"What does a clock do when it's still hungry? It goes back for seconds!"

"Premarital counseling should be having the couple put together IKEA furniture with limited Wi-Fi connection. #weddingparty #romance"

"You call it being sober. I call it on my way to the liquor store."

"Girls are just like pasta. Throw her against the wall, if she sticks, she's ready."

"I like my women like I like my chocolate. With nuts."

"Did you hear about the bear that fell into water and disappeared? He was polar."

"What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear? A: White Vans."

"Student: What is the chance we are alone in the universe? Professor: Astronomical."

"A crazed fan attacked Miley Cyrus at a recent concert. Damn, I would have LOVED to have seen the look on her gums."