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Joke of the Day

"What does a clock do when it's still hungry? It goes back for seconds!"

"What is harder than telling the difference between Chinese people? Telling the difference between Chinese people with down syndrome."

"Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents."

"What do you call a train with no motivation A Loco-no-motive"

"IMPROV PERFORMER: I need a suggestion. PERSON (from the back) BE MORE LIKE YOUR BROTHER! IP: Okay, someone that's not my wife."

"I met an elderly at the park and asked him what was going on? He smiled and told me ""I have Parkinson"""

"Who invented King Arthur's round table ? Sir Circumference !"

"Almost 7 billion people on the planet and I find about 12 of them somewhat tolerable once in a while."

"my ex: sometimes I forget why we ever broke up me: when you do that sigh thing I can hear your nose hair"

"My internet has been out for 24 hours and now my kids are moving out. That was easy."