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Joke of the Day

"A crazed fan attacked Miley Cyrus at a recent concert. Damn, I would have LOVED to have seen the look on her gums."

"""I just need some space."" - astronaut break up"

"You know, not all Italians are in the mafia. Some are in the Witness Protection Program."

"I think I'm agnostic, but I haven't decided."

"Who are the real Guardians of the Galaxy? Security at Samsung."

"Why was Cinderella bad at basketball? Because her coach was always a pumpkin."

"People who walk in front of the theater screen while you're watching a pirated movie on your computer are so rude."

"Sometimes I like to pretend I am a cat ...and ignore my wife until it is dinner time"

"How do you spot a blind man on a nudist beach? It's not hard."

"Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists."