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Joke of the Day

"Why did the football coach call his quarterback a hairdresser? Because he missed a split-end on a curl."

"I was browsing sex toys online today and was shocked to find out how much all of my wife's vibrators cost... She's sitting on a small fortune..."

"Why couldn't the candle get any sleep? There's no rest for the wicked."

"Sometimes I tell myself that everything that I've been through in life is totally worth it. Then I laugh hysterically."

"I'm starting to wish I were a werewolf so I'd have a better reason for waking up nude in public with no memory of how I got there."

"[Who Wants to be a Millionaire] Me: I'm stumped. Can I phone a friend? Host: What's your friend's name? Me: Wikipedia."

"Did you know that all Bicyclists are colorblind? Cause they can't tell Green from Red!"

"What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad? That's methed-up!"

"Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Unless you're talking about Oreos."

"I've heard so many drunken Irish jokes, it's gettin' old... ...not everyone's a drunkard in me ~~Publin~~ Dublin."