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Joke of the Day
"What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad? That's methed-up!"
Next Joke
"I've just started going out with some anorexic twins, two birds one stone"
"Why do people looking for motivational seminars and people attending bodybuilding competitions keep accidentally going to each other's events? They both want personal growth."
"Im tired of chasing people who wont chase me... from today on the ice cream man can go fuck himself."
"My fear of dogs went away after I dated my ex Cause she was a total bitch"
"My memory is flawless But my ability to recall is not great"
"""I've found that I'd scream the exact same way If a piece of seaweed touches my leg or if a shark were trying to bite me."" - Kevin James"
"Aoccdrnig to Ylae rseaerch, it deosn't mtater waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are in, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is how mcuh mnoey you hvae"
"what did the infant cannibal think of the premature section of the nursing ward it was a preemie-yum buffet"
"""What a nut job"" I exclaimed, on my first day as President of Almonds"