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Joke of the Day

"[Who Wants to be a Millionaire] Me: I'm stumped. Can I phone a friend? Host: What's your friend's name? Me: Wikipedia."

"When women reach a certain age they start accumulating cats This is known as many paws"

"A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking."

"I just wanna give a shout out to the ancients, for inventing the calendar. It has made my day"

"My friend claims he has a degree in blacksmithing... ... But everything he makes is forged."

"A giant porn conspiracy has been uncovered.... It was run by the illuminaughty"

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a prostitute with diarrhoea? One shucks between fits..."

"C, Eb, and G walk into a ""bar"" ."

"A picture so sexy my computer just covered my eyes."

"For a tennis player, what is the perfect crime? Racketeering"