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Joke of the Day

"[highspeed chase] ANCIENT GREEK COP: Damn they're getting away *turns on Siren* [several nearby ships are lured to their doom]"

"How do you kill 20 flies? Slap an african in the face"

"Do you know about the unpredictable weather in Syria? Sometimes it's Sunni, other times it's Shiite."

"*puts a picture of Roger Rabbit in a picture frame* I did it. I framed Roger Rabbit."

"On my last flight I watched a woman in front of me pull out her hair and eat it until I fell asleep. Can't do that in first class."

"An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman all walk into a bar ""Ouch!"" ""Och aye!"" ""Bejabbers!"""

"What do you call a woman with six kids? Lucy"

"What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? ""You are too young to smoke."""

"A few years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have no Jobs, no Cash and no Hope.. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die."

"One I just heard. Part of me says ""I can't keep drinking like this."" The other part of me says ""Don't listen to that guy. He's drunk."""