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Joke of the Day

"How do you kill 20 flies? Slap an african in the face"

"Why do ladies prefer 77 over 69? Because it's eight more."

"My Doctor told me I'm pregnant... I told her she's got to be kid-in-me"

"A photon checks into a hotel.. The bellhop says: ""Can I get your bags?"" The photon says: ""that's ok, I'm traveling light"" - I heard Neil DeGrasse Tyson tell this joke with pure giddiness"

"Some guy just passed toilet paper under the stall without me even asking. I'm not sure if he is a pervert or a wizard."

"At a restaurant I thought a family was praying at the table but then I realized they were all texting."

"Show me on this doll where the bad man gave you a skewed perspective of a female body"

"Things I'm doing today * going to the gym * having sex * lying"

"The length of my penis was in the Guinness Book Of World Records Untill the librarian told me to take it out"

"HISTORICAL FACT: I moved to Miami too, but I didn't make such a big fucking deal about it."