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Joke of the Day

"If your gift says ""from Mom and Dad"" you just know Dad has absolutely no idea what's inside it."

"A man is almost hit by a car. Chrysler averted."

"Called my Doctor, in a panic, serious difficulty ""passing"" urine. Turns out, it's just that I drive a shitty mini-van."

"What do American beer and sex in a canoe have in common? F***ing close to water!"

"A slightly drunk woman is watching tv... She yells, ""Don't go there! Don't go up the stairs! Don't go into the church you dumb bitch!"" Her husband asks, ""What are you watching?"" ""Our wedding video."""

"A pelican just flew away with my sandwich. Rigged! The media!"

"It's so awkward getting a boner during a prostate exam. Especially when they realize you're not a doctor."

"My son LOVES dogs and is TERRIFIED of them. Which is EXACTLY how I feel about my WIFE."

"What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman knew his parents before they were shot."

"Knock Knock Come in."